Embracing Self-Compassion: A Path to Resilience, Mental Well-Being, and Growth
Why am I writing about Self-Compassion?
As a psychotherapist, counsellor, active counselling client, and human being, I’ve realised how much self-compassion contributes to building psychological flexibility, resilience, and mental well-being—for my clients, myself, and others. Through this article, I hope to encourage the practice of self-compassion, helping us gain the love and strength needed to overcome challenges and live lives aligned with our values.
In difficult times, many of us default to self-blame and self-criticism, thinking, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m messed up,” or “I should have done better.” While it’s natural to wish we’d handled things differently or be different, adding emotional self-beating seamingly makes things harder.
Instead, can I invite us to explore and experiment using self-compassion as the first step toward healing and regaining strength to move forward?
This isn’t about making excuses but about acknowledging what has happened and offering ourselves the care needed to navigate challenges be it big or small. Yes, we can always improve, however, can we also invite ourselves to allow self-compassion as a starting point, using it to build & recognise our strength to face today’s and tomorrow’s challenges?
What is Self-Compassion?
Self-compassion involves showing yourself the kindness, understanding, patience, love, openness, forgiveness, and care you would offer to a loved one or friend.
Benefits of Self-Compassion:
Increased emotional resilience, motivation and well-being
Increased self-worth and self-esteem
Improved relationships with yourself and others
3 Elements in Practicing Self-Compassion:
Noticing experiences, including what has happened, your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.
Acknowledging and making space for these experiences.
Responding with kind, understanding, patient, loving, forgiving, and caring words toward yourself.
Ways you can practice Self-Compassion:
Self-Talk by using kind and supportive words, such as:
It was tough, and I know you did the best you could at the time.
What you’re feeling is a normal part of being a human and your own experience
The world can seem like it is crumbling down, but I am here for you always
Whatever it maybe, I accept you for who you are
Visual Imagery by:
Imagine sharing your situation with someone loving, understanding, and kind.
Picture them offering compassionate words and gestures, like a hug or a pat on the back.
Take gentle breaths while visualising this.
Journalling:
Write freely about what happened, along with your thoughts and feelings without censorship.
Reflect on what you’ve noticed about your experience.
Write self-compassionate messages to yourself.
Sharing Your Self-Compassionate Practice with Others
After practicing self-compassion, share your experience and self-compassionate practice with someone you trust—someone who is loving, understanding, and encouraging. This can strengthen your self-compassion and inspire others.
A Gentle Invitation for Reflection and Trying Self-Compassion
Are you caught in harsh thoughts and feelings about yourself right now? Would you consider trying self-compassion? Acknowledge what has happened and the accompanying thoughts and emotions, but also offer yourself the kindness and understanding you deserve.
Reference:
Neff KD. (2022). Self-compassion: Theory, method, research, and intervention.
https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/PsychReviewInPress.pdf
